Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
