I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
