This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Boobs speak an international language.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
