everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
