found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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