And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
