I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
