is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
