he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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