We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
