A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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