You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I feel like a drive thru vagina
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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