We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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