I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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