I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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