You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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