member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I need a burrito and a hug.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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