"it" just moved
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
