Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I have already put on my inside pants.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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