somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
