How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just blew my weed a kiss
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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