imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
that may or may not have been my penis.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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