God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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