did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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