I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
is that a dick in a sweater?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
