come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
