i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
