So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
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I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
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I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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