Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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