Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
