Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
