I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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