I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
