Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
This is classic penis vs brain.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
