i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
