shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
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then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
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Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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