You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
3 2 1 whiskey
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
