my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize