if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
