just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
