I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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