Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
