Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
