I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
