he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
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It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
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Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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