idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
