i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
