is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize