Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
