pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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