I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize