What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Randomize
