my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
