We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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