i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
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Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
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LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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