Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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